New Age Alternatives to Spirituality and Inner Growth
Yoga-An Ancient Game of Twister
- Prayer Pose in Yoga
As I was getting the pictures together for this post, I could not help but laugh out loud as I remembered my own introduction to Yoga. My sister is a wonderful person who is often the instigator of my latest work out phases. Sometimes they stick and sometimes they don’t, fortunately, Yoga is one that stuck. In fact, I have been doing it for the last 8 years or so. Once my sister told me about her experience with Yoga, I thought to myself…no cardio and it strengthens your body as well as makes you limber and stress free. This is the workout for me!!!!!
I ran out to my favorite store, Wal-Mart and purchased my very own Yoga DVD…mat included. I put on my shorts and T-shirt and put on the DVD. Nice, melodic music came on and 3 serene looking women were sitting on rocky outcrop on their sticky mats in the desert as the sun rises. How poetic and stress free is that? I think to myself, I can do this work out…piece of cake even for my slightly overweight…yes, that is my story and I’m sticking to it… as I was saying, my slightly overweight form, could definitely handle this.
So with my bare feet sticking to the mat and now the first pose is on the screen, it is the prayer pose. ”Feet and legs hip-width apart and your hands together at your chest” drones the pre-recorded voice. Okay, this is so easy, the only part I was struggling with is something they call “Yoga Toes”. It is where you spread all your toes apart so there is space in between and it is supposed to help with your balance in some of the poses. Apparently, my toes have never attempted this position outside of a pedicure chair and would not cooperate but still I’m off to a good start. I’m feeling it now, here I come stress free world. Next comes the breath, which helps stabilize the body and release tension through out the workout. No problem, I can do that…“in and out through the nose”….I can do that very easily too. While my mind and body were saying, this form of exercise was meant for us, it was time to move into the next pose.
Forward Bend Pose in Yoga
The disembodied voice on the DVD tells me to “take a deep breath and bend forward at the waist and try to touch the floor beside my feet”. All right, I bend over all the time, how hard can this be? Already, I’m thinking my sister is crazy for saying that Yoga was a challenging workout. So, I take a deep breath and start to bend over towards my toes…wait a minute…how come I can’t reach the floor like the Yogini’s on the TV? The voice from the TV chooses that moment to tell me to remember my breath….”What? Remember my breath, I can’t even bend over like you want”! So, I try to control my breathing and find that the annoying voice on TV is correct and remembering my breath did help me move a little deeper into the bend. As I got into the groove of this move, my T-shirt decides that is this would be the perfect moment to roll up and over my head, flashing my TV Yoga partners. “Note to self…wear tight workout shirt or tuck in T-shirt when doing Yoga” , something I’d like to have known from the beginning along with wear Yoga pants not shorts (shorts pinch and restrict movement when working out in Yoga).
Downward Dog Yoga Pose
So, I “sort of ” get the forward bend down and now it is time to move into the next pose. Yup, you guessed it, the pose is downward facing dog. The voice from the video, which was getting on my nerves at this point, tells me to “step your feet back and push away with your arms so that your heals press into the floor”. Hmm..I must be doing this wrong because not only do my heels do not touch the floor, I lose my balance and fall on my head with my T-shirt covering my face. To add insult to injury, my dog walks by and looks at me in disgust as he easily glides into the downward dog stretch and saunters off with a look that says “Amateur!”. It really is sad when your pets take a condescending tone with you. 
All through my comical attempt at “mimicking my inner dog”, the tape droned on”Remember to breathe” and “keep your butt up, not out”. What did keep your butt up mean? While I contemplated this new kernel of inner awareness, it was time for the next pose. It was the Triangle Pose and while it looks simple enough, it is more difficult than you think.
Triangle Pose in Yoga
I spread my legs apart and reach an arm down to my calf, as I am not limber enough to reach my ankle yet and attempt to twist and put the other arm up. As I try to figure out how to “breathe” and gaze serenely up to my other arm without breaking a hip, it was time to move into another pose. “Hold on a minute, I haven’t got this pose down yet”, while the very nimble yogini’s slide gracefully into Warrior Pose. Warrior Pose is a similar stance to Triangle Pose, but you must haul yourself out of the twist to an upright position with arms out and your gaze focused past your fingertips. Well, let me tell you, not so easy or so graceful. Remember, you are rooting your feet down (and I still don’t get what that means) and trying to move your “pleasingly plump hourglass” figure back up into an upright position. For those that can picture that in your heads, it’s like having the skinny kid on one end of the seesaw and two football players on the other end. It is not going to work easily nor without a lot of effort. I huff and puff myself into position, completely giving up on the breathe at this time, and suddenly realize that my arms are a lot heavier than I thought.
Low Lunge in Yoga Pose
The really annoying and peaceful voice sings out that it is now time for some floor work. Yahoo-I can really dig laying on the floor, this has got to be easier, right? The first position on the floor is the low lunge or runner’s stretch. Remember, in Yoga, it is all about the breath. So, I make sure my one knee is directly over my ankle and while I can’t stretch out as far as the “freaks” on the TV, I do manage to get into the position relatively fast. I’m breathing like I’m ready to stroke out but I’m there. Then just to make my pride of accomplishment crumble like the proverbial cookie, I now have to put my arms above my head and together as a I bring my heart and head up. Well, you guessed it, I fell over to the side and while putting myself back into the correct position, it is time to move into the high lunge position.
This is where you don’t get to rest your knee on the floor while lunging. You have to dig your toes into the mat and keep that leg straight with your arms, heart and head up. This does not bode well for a balanced pose or my breathing. Let’s just say that pose was a total failure. Next on the torture routine was the Cobra Pose. You will just have to wait until the next post to see how that turned out.
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